...

You can close your eyes 

to things you don't want to see...

You can't close your heart 

to things you don't want to feel

i have always been one that has lots of control over my thoughts and emotions and that sort of thing...i guess it comes with the job...the whole positive thinking thing...actually i think ive always been like that...but doing what i do...has helped me refine that....focus on results...long term perspective...blah blah blah...i guess you would say that i am quite future orientated...and always evaluate situations prior to action....quite analytical...don't know if thats a good thing...

with the matters of the heart...that is something i find very hard to control...that i do try very hard to control...but i just can't which really really really annoys me....lol....you feel what you feel about people...falling for someone is exactly that...you fall...you have no control...it just happens there is no effort on your part...it just is...even when you don't want to...even when you know you shouldn't....even when your trying not to...

when i know im falling for someone and i dont want to...i normally dont ever want to....i just deny it...until im blue in the face...i will do everything i can possibilily do...to not feel that way...weather it be constantly telling myself that its nothing...or better cut all ties...no talk...no nothing...until these feelings that make me so uncomfortable go away...

the only thing wrong with this...though usually it is quite effective....is when the feelings...because you actually do have strong feelings for a person....and you think its gone...but then when this person appears again...its 10 times worse then what it was originally....these feelings they just come back with vengeance...its so not even funny!!! 

Absence is to love as wind is to fire;

it extinguishes the small and kindles the great

had to write about this for watever reason...not because im experiencing it now...thank freaking goodness!!! But recent events has made me think about how this crap has happened...its happened to everyone right??? its a bitch aye??? LOL


again...


DAMN YOU FEELINGS!!!!


one thing though...its kinda weird not knowing whats going to happen next...exciting even...hmmmm whatever...its going to be freakin GREAT!!! i thinks...i hopes...ill make sure...i promise!!!


ciao ciao xo
inkette